According to the estimations, 90% Western cultures’ people will be married by the age of 50. But, 40-50% of these marriages in the United States will end in divorces. Here is a wakeup call for those who are above to divorce and in a married life.
This is suddenly directed to new couples as those of you who have been married know this. Everybody around you will wish you to have a long and happy marriage life. These advice may helpful for you to continue a happy life. This could be the hope of Gerald Rogers. He’s a motivational speaker and a life speaker in Utah. He wrote 20 tips for men on how to save a marriage in one blog post shared by him in 2013. He has attracted the attention of couples across the globe with the ‘Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had’. It was all about the lessons he learned after his marriage of 16 years ended in divorce.
Powerful marriage advice from a divorced man, after 16 years of marriage:
Never Stop Dating.
Once when couples get married, they settle into the idea that they have already ‘have’ their partner. Don’t ever take that woman you love for granted. Don’t forget to show her that how much you care. Don’t get lazy in your love, be the same person who was in during before getting married.
Protect Your Heart.
You should give the same care to your own heart while showing love and compassion to others. Keep the most special place in your heart to your wife while loving yourself fully and loving the world openly. Then you can have a special relationship with your partner.
Allow Yourself to Fall in Love Every Day.
We all constantly change. But love isn’t something that is once and done. It’s an ongoing experience. You have to fall in love with your partner each and every day, always love her as the way you did when you were courting her.
Focus on The Best in Your Partner.
Always focus on what you love as it will expand. When you spend your life so closely you’ll start seeing a reason to be bugged. Don’t allow these to dominate your thoughts. Focus on your love as to the point you’ll only see love. And always believe that you’re the luckiest man on earth to have this woman as your wife.
Don’t Try to Change Her.
No one can change your life except you. You choose your partner for who they are. So, don’t try to change her, and if you try to change her it is destined to fail. She may change through her life, but that’s her choice. Love her by accepting all her stages.
Be Accountable for Your Own Emotions.
You have to take control of your emotions. Your wife doesn’t have to make you happy, or she even can’t make you sad. You have to find your own happiness as you’re the only one who can make you happy. Once you are happy, that’ll make you more into love.
Never Blame Your Partner.
When you get angry or frustrated at her, never blame her, it’ll only trigger something inside you. You have to control your emotions. When you get angry, just look deep into you and realize what is inside you and try to heal. You will no longer be triggered by her when you heal yourself.
Don’t Always Try to Fix Everything for Her.
When she’s upset or sad just hold her and say its ok as it’s not your job to fix it. Give her the feeling that you hear her and she’s worthy and you can be with her at any time. When you are with her she’ll trust you and open her soul to you. When she’s upset, never run away. Stay strong by her side and listen to her words and emotions.
Always be simple without being damn seriously. Be happy and make her happy. Happiness makes everything easier.
Learn Her Love Language.
This is a concept that was popularized by Gary Chapman. She may have specific ways that she feels important and validated and cherished. Learn her love languages and show it every day and make her happy.
She doesn’t only need your time, she also wants your focus, your attention, and your soul. Be away from your smartphone or television and take some time to spend with her. Treat her as a queen and make her feel more special.
Take Her Sexuality.
Don’t try to force sexual play upon her, but take control when both of you are in that moment. And remember to make her pleasure your top priority. She will know she can trust you fully if you let her melt into her feminine softness.
Don’t Be Afraid of Making Mistakes, But Don’t Make Excuses
No one in this world is and mistakes happen by everyone. There are reasonable and ridiculous mistakes. When you’ve done a mistake and you really worry about it own it and take responsibility for them. But don’t use ‘mistakes happen’ as an excuse to be lazy or reckless.
Give Her Space.
She may sometimes need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. If you give her space to find what feeds her soul, she’ll be really happy. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.
You are not perfect and she knows that and still, she loves you. So, don’t try to be something that you’re not. You have to share your fears and feelings and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
You have to share everything if you want to have trust. Everything includes those things you don’t want to share. You both need to be transparent. You will never experience the full dimension of what love can be if you feel like you need to wear a mask around her and show up that you’re perfect all the time. So, drop the mask. Be honest and open with your partner.
Continue Growing Together.
Always find common goals, dreams and vision to work towards. If you stop working on your relationship it will result badly to you. So, grow together.
Don’t Argue Over Finances.
Finance is the main issue that can happen in a relationship. If you work together and find ways, you can win the money game. When you both fight you can go for it.
Always forgive immediately. Focus on the love rather than choosing anger. If you forgive you’ll feel free and become closer.
Always Chose Love.
If you always chose love through all your choices, you’ll surely have the happiness of your marriage. Remember that love will always endure.